No more Irish car bombs ever.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
