If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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