I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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