ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
