I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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