all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
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