All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
