he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
