Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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