yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
