this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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