...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
