Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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