I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
