I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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