I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
