I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
