I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
