...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
