so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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