I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
