its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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