Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
