Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
