I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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