dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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