It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
