I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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