kristin has been a bad kristin
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
