I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
