so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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