theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
