Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
