My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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