do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
The air taste purple.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
