Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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