You're so nebulous sometimes
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
