ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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