love makes seman taste better
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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