You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
