So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
