We're like a lot better than the average bears
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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