We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Idk if I want to put a bra on
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
