Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
