It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
