too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
