What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
