i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
