I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
