Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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