guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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